Whatever Is Left
by freelf13
Summary: No one really seems to realize how broken Much should be. I mean he had one breakdown at the beginning of the show but he has so many more causes after that. So this is 5 drabbles allowing Much to get his feelings out. It ends happy, but it's mostly feels. I dunno I always felt a little bad for Much.
1. It's Too Late for That Now

There was no sound but the desert wind, and no color but the harsh red against the white against the yellow of the sand, inches above someone that used to be Carter, at least not that Much could see. Djaq, Will, Robin, John, Allan, and he. The gang. They were who was left. All the extras, all the outward ties to their small group had been severed. After the first time round the Holy Land, Much knew that Robin never wanted anything he couldn't stand to lose, knew the hurt was too great. As he looked at the plain, evident, solidified grief on his friend's faces, he knew it was too late for that, for all of them. But, he thought with conviction, with a very Much-like tendency, that at least they still had each other. All of them, together, were ok. He looked at Marians grave, and then back at Robin, and then back at the grave. He pushed his cap off and wrung it in his hands, tears dripping onto his boots.


	2. Last Time in the Holy Land

"Goodbye Much." Djaq said, voice breaking, as she pulled him in for a hug. The other sidekick, so misunderstood, he always brought her comfort and here she was, leaving him.

"Bye Djaq." He said, childlike and soft. He curled his arms around her and squeezed. He put all the memories into it. All the eye-rolls, all the exchanged glances, all the helping hands went into that hug. He felt tears brimming, and so did she, as he let her go one last time, turning to bid Will Scarlett farewell.

No one said it, but they both knew this was it.

It was very likely they wouldn't see each other again.

"You were very brave." He said lightly to the carpenter, his eyes wide, mouth turned down. "We'll miss you."

Never one for long winded speeches, Will pulled the manservant into a tight hug, before sadly letting go and curling a protective arm around Djaq's waist. She was shaking.

Much didn't take his eyes off of them until he had to, and then all he felt was hot, all he tasted was dust, and all he heard were the somber footsteps of his friends who were left, who knew they were all leaving a very big piece of themselves behind. All he saw was blur as his tears dripped onto the sand.

He was tired of being the one who cried.


	3. The Last Straw

"Leave him, Kate." He heard John grimace behind him. He was walking away from Tuck, Kate, Archer and John, and he didn't care one bit. He couldn't see where he was going, couldn't see anything beyond Prince John and his deep, ridiculous, frightening, uncharacteristic desire to run him through with several swords. He stumbled over a tree root and fell, feeling the skin leave his hands as he caught himself, feeling the forest soil spread across his face. He pulled himself, with the last bit of energy he had in life, under the nearest tree, and cried. It was silent, at least, but it was never ending. Choking gasps, floods and floods of tears, tears for Robin, tears for Allan, tears for Marian, tears for Will and Djaq, even Carter and Dan Scarlett and Alice and Little Little John and Edward, even Gisbourne, were cause enough to cry. He just sat there, and in snatches of air he was grateful to John for leaving him his moment. But thinking of how they were, in fact, the last two originals left made him break all over again. He clutched hard at his Robin Hood tag until the string snapped, which made him cry harder. Still silent, still undetected, Much the manservant, the broken man, stayed there until the sun went down.


	4. Merry Christmas Eve Master:It's All Over

"When there is justice again…" He remembered himself saying it, but his weary brain and overwhelming and permanent exhaustion left Much confused about the echoing of this quote in his ears. It was important, very important, and it had something to do with Bonchurch. It had been a very hard year until King Richard returned, but Much was slowly climbing his way from the sticky black pit of grief. Prince John was rid of and justice was served at last. And although weary, he visited his friend's graves daily and there was enough peace to get by. He had packed his belongings, left the camp well with fond memories of the long gone carpenter, and was now aimless.

Dark circles under his eyes, lines around the edges of his face, he felt older. He felt weathered. He made his way, the deed signed by the King in hand, toward Bonchurch.

"When there is justice again…" he whispered. "What am I to do?" He had passed through Nettlestone before he remembered. A woman, round and wise, had yelled to him from the outskirts.

"God Bless Ye This Christmas Eve, Master!"

And he broke into a run.


	5. Whatever Is Left

"Eve!" He called, banging through the front door of Bonchurch, bringing the winter wind with him.

"Master Much." Said a round woman in an apron. She took his coat calmly and set his bags down. "God Bless Ye This Christmas –"

"Eve." Much breathed, grasping her hands. "Please, I'll bless you a hundred times too if only you'll tell me." He smiled his crooked smile, and for a minute he looked like himself again. "Where is Eve?" A twinkle seemed to shine in the maids eye as she bowed her head.

"Upstairs, Master." She smiled. "I believe she is-" But Much was gone. Tearing up the stairs, not even stopping to admire the new residency, he pushed through all the doors, passed all the servants in bouts of "Merry Christmas" and finally came to a room where a woman was changing a bed. She turned around at the disturbance. A very tired, very out of breath man met her, dark circles under his green eyes and his cap askew on his long blondish hair. His jacket was slipping down off his shoulders, away from a thin green scarf round his neck beside an old withered wooden tag bearing a circle and a bow. And he was smiling a crooked smile.

"There is justice again." He whispered, his eyes full. "You cannot be working for the sheriff, because he is dead." He took a deep breath. "And I said I would return…did I not?" He stood in the door, breathing hard. The woman could only nod, her mouth closed and her eyes wide. Eve all but ran across the room and buried her face in Much's shoulder. He clutched her close and tight, vowing never to let her go again.

"There is justice again…" He whispered. "And I swear to you…whatever heart I have left in me. Whatever part still works…." He pulled her close and kissed her long.

"It is yours."


End file.
